Dodging Red Butterflies
by Akasa
Summary: Underneath the desert sunset, their clothes dirty from digging up machina, Rikku and Gippal discuss what it means to be in love. [Pre FFX. Bittersweet.]


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_**Pre-FFX**_

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"You've been in love, right?"

It wasn't a question, he gathered. The way her eyes focused straight ahead, her palms pressed against the hilt of her cheeks. It seemed as if she was talking to herself, if anything. And she did that quite often recently.

"I mean, you know how it feels, right?"

He snorted. He couldn't really think of another response that would agree with her assumption while maintaining his aloofness about the matter. He was never the mushy, emotional type… in front of her, at least.

"Me too, I think," she sighed, dropping her arm in defeat. "But sometimes I'm not sure."

"Sometimes?"

"I mean, some _guys_ – I mean… I'm not sure if it was really love with some of them, y'know?"

He leaned against the cool metal of the rusty machina as he lazily twirled the shovel in his hand. "So you've never been in love?"

"Are you gonna call me a 'kid' if I say 'no'?"

"Yes."

"Then, I have."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. _Twice_."

"_Two_ times now! And I thought _I_ was experienced."

"Oh, be quiet, Gippal," she groaned, kicking sand onto his pants. "Unlike you, I'm more careful with the hearts I deal with."

He chuckled softly, planting the head of the shovel deep into the ground with one swift movement of his arm. "You make me sound ruthless."

She watched as he pulled his hand back, digging them into the pocket of his jacket. "Don't tell me you're surprised," she said, bending her legs close to her chest.

He sighed. "Don't believe everything you hear from people."

She tucked her head deeper into the pillow of her arms. "Many of them are my friends." Her voice was blunt and curt. "I believe them."

He shrugged, his fingers wrapping around the handle of the shovel once again. "Have I ever been 'ruthless' to you?"

"I dunno." She turned her face up to look at him, a smirk dancing on her lips. "We've never gone out."

"We're friends aren't we?"

"When you want us to be."

"And am I ruthless to you then? When we're friends?"

She pressed her lips together, sliding them over and under each other as she thought. "Depends on what you mean by 'ruthless.' I meant it as a careless, heartbreaking bastard. But since we've never actually gone _out_ –"

"Uncaring. Inconsiderate." He crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side to look at her. "Or violent."

"I could take you on, don't think I can't 'cause I can!" she instantly exclaimed, shaking her finger at him. "Don't you test me."

"You're not answering the question."

"What question?"

"Have I ever been 'ruthless' to you?"

"Not necessarily." She paused. "But how you act around me doesn't say everything about your character."

He raised his eyebrow.

"I mean – my father is Cid. Even the biggest of idiots wouldn't do anything to upset or harm me." She gathered a handful of sand into her hands, letting it fall through a hole between her fingers like an hourglass. "No guys ever act 'ruthless' around me. So just because you're not 'ruthless' to _me_, that doesn't mean you aren't to others."

He grunted. "What's with all the thinking today? Are you okay?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm fine." She lifted herself off the ground slightly to reposition her legs underneath her. She suddenly smiled. "Actually, now that I think about it… I don't think you've ever actually been in love."

He sighed in amusement, turning the other way. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she said with certainty. "You may have been with more people than I have, and you may have gone further with them than I have too. But that only makes the fact that you've never been in love all the more true!" She felt so proud; the logic flowed out of her mouth so clearly. "You don't know what true love is like at all! You date aimlessly, carelessly, purposelessly." She giggled, standing up and making her way towards him. She forced herself on her toes to look him straight in the eye with a wide grin. "You're just a _kid_."

He kept his face steady. "You don't even know what being in love is like. How can you be so sure I've never felt it?"

Her face fell for a moment at that question, and her shoulders slumped down with her feet. For the next few seconds they were silent, quiet like the barren desert they stood in. "Then…" Her voice was low and weak. "…what's it feel like?"

He glanced down at her. "Good," he said simply.

She frowned, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "C'mon!"

He smiled at her brief frustration before decidedly giving in to her childish pout. "Well…" He pushed himself off the machina, taking a step towards her. "Sometimes… it's painful."

"_Painful?_"

"Yeah." He reached for her hand, gently clasping his fingers around it. He guided it to her left breast and gently pressed their hands against her chest. "Right there."

She drew back slightly, her cheeks flushed.

"Sometimes… it's ecstasy." He brought her hand to her lips, grazing it barely. "Right… there."

She watched his expression closely. "And…?"

"Sometimes…" He leaned his head down, moving her hand and his lower, and lower, and lower… "…It's beautiful." His forehead touched hers, and she could feel his breath delicately tickling her skin. "Understand?" he whispered, voice deep and warm.

"Gippal…" She swallowed. "…You're too much."

He chuckled softly, maintaining their proximity. "Too much what?"

She closed her eyes, sighing tiredly. "Talk."

He flinched, releasing her hand and pulling back. "What?"

She bit her lip, glancing away. "Too much talk… That mouth of yours… never shuts up." She rubbed her arm discreetly. "It's hard to believe everything you say."

He stared at her in disbelief for a moment before turning away, scoffing. He bent his head back, his gaze setting on the pastel smeared sky that was beginning to darken. "Maybe you just don't want to believe it."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "I'd believe it if I had any faith it were true," she explained.

He sighed, reaching behind his head to rub the back of his neck. "You really know how to kill a moment, don't you, Cid's Girl?"

She crossed her arms. "And you really know how to fabricate one."

"It's too bad." He glanced at her briefly. "I was gonna kiss you. And it would've been _good_."

She crossed her arms over each other, blowing at her bangs from the side of her mouth. "I'll pass, thank you."

"Suit yourself." He took a seat on the ground, turning his gaze to the setting sun. "Anyway, we should be headin' back or it'll be past your bedtime," he said nonchalantly.

She rolled her eyes but didn't protest. Her father was admittedly strict with curfew whenever she was with Gippal. "Well, get up then."

He didn't move.

She held out her hand in front of him. "Get up, you big lug."

He stared at her outstretched hand, her wrinkled face. There seemed to be disappointment in her eyes from the way she looked at him, but her frustrated tone had masked it pretty well. It wasn't often that Rikku had to do that – hide her feelings from him. When she was mad, she'd yell. When she was sad, she'd cry. When she was happy, she'd smile. It was rare that she ever felt the need to hide her emotions in front of him. And now that she did, it hurt him a little inside.

He stood, taking her hand even though he didn't need it. In a second they were facing each other, and as she pulled her hand back to her side, he found he didn't want to let go. He didn't think the day should be over just yet. Didn't want her going home thinking that he didn't care about a word she'd said all afternoon. Didn't want her not to have faith in the things he told her.

So he leaned down – no hesitance, no doubts, no embarrassment – and kissed her. Nothing too extravagant. Nothing too deep. But enough, he believed, to make her feel _something._ Eventually, they pulled apart, and he said the first thing on his mind. The thing he believed had caused that look of disappointment in her eyes.

"In love with me yet?"

She blinked. "No."

He could only shrug and smile. He released her immediately. There was nothing to regret, nothing to feel ashamed about. It wasn't as if he did it for his benefit; he simply wanted to help a friend sort of her emotions. Nothing more.

She stood still as he walked around her, picking up the shovel as he did so. She touched her lips lightly, thoughtfully, before she heard him calling her. She looked up, noticing he was facing the direction of Home. With a nod, she quickly jogged toward him, and soon they were walking side by side. She waited until she was confident enough to speak.

"Gippal?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you mad?"

He glanced down at her, a smile already on his face. "At you? Always."

She smiled back, weakly. That wasn't the response she was looking for, but she knew it was the only one she'd ever get out of him. Hugging herself lightly, she lowered her head to the ground, intently concentrating on the footsteps she left in the sand.

"Cold?"

She wasn't, but she nodded anyway. He promptly slid off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She could feel the heat from his body seep through her skin and she faintly blushed at the thought of it feeling like his arms were around her.

"Don't worry," he suddenly said, and she looked up at him. He ruffled her hair teasingly. "About never being in love. It'll come when you're ready."

She nodded hesitantly.

"In the meanwhile, there's a lineup of guys already fallen and waiting for you." His voice was reassuring. "So don't worry."

She smiled. "Thanks Gippal."

"If only…" He shook his head disapprovingly. "If only you weren't so _ruthless_."

"Me?" She raised her eyebrows before replying mockingly, "Don't believe everything you hear from people."

He chuckled softly. "I don't." He pointed to himself with a smile. "First-hand experience."

She looked up at him with wide eyes, but he'd already turned his gaze.

"C'mon," he told her, quickening his pace. "Your Pops is gonna come at me with his pistol again if we don't hurry." And as if it'd just been another ordinary day of digging, he left it at that.


End file.
